10 things I've learned since being in France (almost 6 weeks here!)

10. Don't ever say Bonjour after about 5 PM. If you do, you immediately stand out as non-French. Instead, say Bonsoir. People who speak English say it means good evening, but really they use it to say Hello at night.

9. Even though the trams/restaurants/everything indoors is "nonsmoking", it really isn't. The bums must not be able to read because they smoke where ever they want. And they generally have a several dogs with them too, and these dogs aren't even on leashes, they just follow the bums around... but my question is this, do the bums feed these dogs so they follow them around? and if they do, then why don't they feed themselves and stop harassing me for euros?

8. The bus schedule is only an "estimate". Really, the buses/trams/any public transportation vehicle is allowed to show up if and when they feel like it, because they're "in a union" and they'll go on strike. We've already had 3 strikes since I've been here. And these strikes are announced, and even if the issue gets resolved quickly, the workers are still on strike for the entire day. Must be nice.

7. Just because everything is closed on Sunday doesn't mean people are religious. Bars are still open at night. And there are very few people at church, and I hardly ever see anyone on the streets when I go to/from church. And the buses run like once or twice an hour on Sundays versus the typical 10x an hour during any other day. I read in an article that approximately 82% of people here have a declared religion, but do not practice.

6. Just because a French word is as long as my arm doesn't mean it will take a long time to pronounce. I can't think of any good examples at the moment, but I remember thinking about it in French class last week when we were conjugating verbs. Pretty much every conjugation of the same verb is spelt differently, but pronounced the same.

5. You really can get wasted from a bottle of wine (or two, or three, or four...) Wine is definitely the cheapest drink you can get in France; a bottle of wine (normal size) is cheaper than a bottle of water (20 oz). Only in France!

4. Everybody makes paninis and baguette sandwiches... the grocery stores, gas stations, random churro carts... and they make them all in the morning, and once they're gone they close their "stand" and leave. Literally. There is no such thing as ordering a panini or baguette off the menu, you just have to pick one from the glass case and hope for the best.

3. Even when you think you're speaking really good French, they know you're American. Same goes for Spanish too... I cashed some travelers checks today, and the lady asked for my address (one of the few phrases I know by heart in French). So with my best French accent I say my address, and she asked me to repeat it in English. And, last week in Madrid I went to McDonalds and ordered a quarter pounder with cheese in Spanish, and the lady repeated my order in English...

2. The French really don't like Americans. Or Bush. Or people from Texas because Bush is from Texas. And they'll tell you it straight to your face. The French who speak English always want to know where my "accent" is from, and when I say Texas, they immediately want to bash Bush and tell me how horrible he is and how I should be ashamed I'm from his state.

and finally, number one...

1. Never, ever, ever say excuse moi. People only say that if they've passed gas, according to my wonderful, new, culturally aware French friends. I said it on the bus on the way to Madrid as I was passing a group of French students, and they laughed at me and I didn't know why. Luckily someone explained it to me later. Apparently, the proper thing to say is pardon with a French accent if you want people to get out of your way.

And there you have it. That is all.